Working Towards Financial Peace

This upcoming year, my husband and I have decided to get down and dirty and work on knocking out our debt to become debt free. We have worked out a plan and if we have no major speed bumps, fingers crossed, we will be nearly debt free at the end of 2011. Our small debts and van payments will be finished in June and the car will be done in December of this year. Then we can start 2012 finishing off our 2 small school loans. Then we are going to kill the mortgage. The goal is to be completely debt free in about 7 years. It will be hard but well worth it. The vehicles are new enough that they will only need repaired from time to time. The hope is to build up a savings account so that in the far future we can buy cars with cash. Then when we get paid we will only need to pay for utilities.

The peace of mind that should follow will be well worth any sacrifice now. I'm tired of worrying about grocery money, gas money, paying bills on time, etc. This year almost all Christmas gifts given to friends and family were homemade and received great reviews. That saved us from going under farther. I only purchased things for my kids for Santa to give. The result was a very relaxed holiday. I highly recommend it.

I am a huge fan of freecycle. It's a great way to give your unwanted things to those who may need them in the community, and also receive items you, yourself might need. This is all done online and is completely free. No money changes hands. Goodwill is a great place for discounted things you may need, but not necessarily new. I like to buy plastic baby toys at 25 cents each and let my dogs have as chew toys. This is a great deal when you consider the price at a pet store is $5 - $10 per toy. The dog will destroy it either way.

The kids are 8, 10, and 12 and have found making recycled crafts to be great fun. They loved making a cardboard city, see previous blog for more info and pics on that. They like to take old hats and clothes that are stained or torn and redecorate them and turn into fun dress up clothes.

So the overall goal is to be creative, put extra towards the bills, and look to the future!

freecycle website

Cardboard city

Life's Stories as told by snowmen

You thought your neighbors were bad? Are you turned off by public displays of affection? Then this should definitely disturb you! Sometimes we don't like what we see because it's inappropriate other times it reminds us of what we wish we had. Does something upset you because you are jealous or is it actually serious?

The predictable thing about kids is that they are unpredictable. Remember to keep your cool because mistakes and accidents will happen.

Always be prepared for the worst. Children don't think ahead so you will need to do it for them. And please don't eat the yellow snow!

Know when to fight and when to give up. Is it really worth dying over? You can replace a lot of things but you can't replace yourself. You only get one body, take care of it and use it wisely. If you put crap in, you will look and feel like crap. If you cherish and care for yourself it will show.

Recycled Cabinet

    I have been recycling and reusing things a lot lately. We recently took out an upper cabinet from our kitchen to open the space. I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I have been tripping on it for quite some time. At the same time I have been trying to rearrange and organize things around the house. Then I found the perfect marriage. I have a cubby from Target that has been used to store shoes in my room but I hate seeing the shoes, so I focused on that.

    The cabinet I took down is 3 ft long and 1 ft deep. I measured the cubby and got the same measurements. Yay! A winner! I decided to stack them. It works out wonderfully. I can now keep the shoes hidden behind doors in the cabinet, and use the cubbies for storage and display. Some of the squares are open in the back so I taped a piece of scrapbook paper that looks like tile to the back. Later I will paint or stain all to match.

Snow Day Activities

   The following is a list of fun things you can do with your kids on a snow day.

• Give them a spray bottle with water and a few drops of food coloring. They can spray paint the snow. Just remind them not to do walkways as they will get icy. Koolaid can be substituted for dye.
• Do you have potato head pieces? They can make snowmen and push in the potato head body parts. Great fun!
• Build a fort or an igloo, show kids how to pack snow into pails and they can make snow castles.
• Play florist or farmer. Give the kids plastic or silk flowers and let them "plant" them in the snow. Can also use fruit and veggies from their play food. Give them some empty baskets to harvest the fields with.
• Snow angels are a classic.
• For older kids, let them build a fort and throw snowballs or take their Nerf guns out and play war games. Better outside than inside. Added bonus Nerf bullets wont get lost behind furniture and the bright orange color is sure to show up in the snow.
• Treasure hunt: kids can make map to find buried treasure. They can count their paces in the snow easily by looking at their footprints.
• Guess the object. Bring out a sack of items with distinct shapes. Have kids cover their eyes. Press an object in snow and then place back in bag. Can kids guess what the object was based on impression in snow?
• Polar Bears and Penguins: let kids run around and slide around like these great snow animals. Remind them that polar bears walk on all fours and that penguins waddle and slide on their bellies.
• Free play with plastic animals and dolls is also fun for kids. Getting to play in the snow is a novelty. Anything they may enjoy doing in sand, they can also try in snow.

Quietly pirouetting in on silvery-toed slippers of snow, And we, we were children once again. ~Bill Morgan, Jr.

Stuff to put stuff in

    Family:  A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.  ~Evan Esar

    How much stuff is enough stuff? How many dishes are normal? How much clothes do we need? When does a lot become a hoard? Is it possible to have too little?

    My grandmother is a hoarder and so is my mother. I grew up in a house that I slowly watched get more and more filled with stuff. As another child would move out with their belongings, their now vacant room would refill just as quickly with miscellaneous junk. I find that I too have the tendency to want to hoard but being aware of it has made all the difference. I recently closed down my family daycare business of 10 years. There was a lot of toys and furniture involved. I went through and sold or donated most of it and only kept what my own children play with.
   
    My house became a lot emptier, it was nice.  I fell in love with the empty spaces. I had never seen empty spaces before. We didn't have them growing up. As far as toys go, I do believe in a good, healthy amount being available for kids to play with. I would rather trip over the toys they are playing with than have kids glued to monitors all day. Clothes have always been simple for me. I only keep what fits and what I wear. My oldest sons clothes are put in space bags and kept for my youngest. Once my youngest son and daughter grow out of their clothes they are donated.

    I only keep what I can realistically use. Is my house empty? Not even close but it isn't jam packed either. We have bonus rooms that we use for extras. The kids have a music room for their drum set, keyboard, and guitar. We have a very large dining room that doubles as a space for video games. I can see my floor and I can see my walls so I think I'm doing OK.

   The compulsion to try and find a reason to keep things is no longer something I struggle with. It was a burden and kept me from doing the things I wanted to do. It is freeing to throw things out. Do you need to go shopping for stuff to stuff your stuff in?

Gifts are the true meaning of Christmas!

I believe giving of yourself and time is what the heart of the holiday is about. Helping those in need, being with those who have nobody, teaching others through love, and rejoicing in the holy spirit are great ways to celebrate.

My extended family doesn't see it this way. I get grief for not going out of my way to hunt them down so they can throw gifts at us and shove us out the door and consider themselves done with Christmas. I would rather forgo the gifts in exchange for them to spend time with my kids, their grandkids. They do not see my kids except for holidays and birthdays despite the fact that they live within easy driving distance. They decline attending school events, dinner engagements, and weekend visits because they do not wish to spend their time with family. They consider the gifts as a payment to opt out of such events.

My children do understand the meaning of Christmas and have started looking down on other family members. My kids are tired of watching people choose things over time with them. They have developed many coping mechanisms to deal with this rejection and it is very sad to see it has come to this over the years. The heart of a child is pure and they see people clearly for who they are. I am proud of my children for standing tall and sticking with the principles they believe in.

Gifts of love are the true meaning of Christmas, not gifts from a store. If Santa doesn't come, Christmas still does. Being with those you love in comfort and a stress free environment is the true pleasure of Christmas.

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.  ~Roy L. Smith

 

Last Minute Christmas Craft Ideas

    Running short on gifts? Running short on cash? Here are some quickie craft ideas to finish off your gift list.

•  Have any burnt out lightbulbs? Spray paint them and turn them into snowmen, reindeer, or just plain bulbs. Attach wire to metal end and hang from tree.

• Go to your local goodwill, salvation army, or other donation center. Buy some very cheap frames. Even the one with the picture of a kitty doing ballet? Yes, that one too. Take them home and throw out any pics or painings they may have come with. Paint the frame with spray paint or left over wall paint. You can leave as a solid color or decorate by gluing on buttons or other craft items. This would also be a great project for kids to help with. Then when dry, add in a family photo or put in a nice piece of scrapbook paper with a nice printed out quote.
• Cut a posterboard into a wreath shape. Have your child dip their hand into green paint and make prints around the outside and use their fingers as the berries. Add a picture to the center and a ribbon to the top to hang it from. If possible laminate.

Choices

  
     The choices we make in life are what mold us into who we are today. Sometimes we make good choices, sometimes bad. Do we choose to be physically healthy and live a longer life or do as we please and miss out on things because we are not physically able to participate? Do we choose to put our family first and do our best to foster its growth and development or run around chasing lost dreams? How important are our marriages, relationships, friends, or children? Will we fight to support and keep them? Are they worth our time?

    How about priorities? Can you list them in order of importance? What consumes most of your time? Do you want to hang out with loved ones, or spend time with video games, TV, or other electronics? Are you constantly scheming with your friends or trying to get away to drink and smoke?

    Values are also choices. What do you value? Honesty, trust, love, sincerity, respectfulness, and humbleness, are great starting places compared to greed, selfishness, vanity, and snobbishness. As you go through your day others will see you for who you are by what you do. Your children will mirror your actions. Will you be proud of what you see?

    Each choice you make will define and mold your life. If you are not happy with your current living situation or lifestyle, you are mostly to blame. You are also the answer to adjust and fix it to what you would like it to be. Pull yourself up and start showing the world the kind of person you are capable of being. Make choices that are noble and of good character. Find your inner stamina and willpower and continue to move forward toward your goal. You will never get there if you do not try.

    When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break.  ~William Hale White

I'd like to use a lifeline.

    My oldest son is in the gifted program which recently underwent some changes. They changed up the staff and now require that the kids stay on track rather than self-paced. The school has had the bad habit of not providing the children with the things that they need. My 7th grader has tested out as reading at a 12th grade level. The middle school tells him that they do not have books to provide for this level. He comes home and tells me this and I make a trip to the school to talk to the gifted facilitator.

    He tells me that the school in fact does not have these books. I tell him to borrow from the high school. He says it's impossible. So I speak to the librarian. Guess what? Not only do they have higher level books but all the teachers have access to this information on their computers. Each book in the library is catalogued with its Lexile level.

    I then go back to the gifted facilitator and explain to him things he should already know. I tell him to print my son a list and give to him the next week. TWO WEEKS LATER, my son receives the list and checks out a book at his level and then checks out a second book for fun. He is told both books have to be at his level, period. My son says, "I'd like to use a lifeline and call my mom". The teacher decides its best not to involve me and lets him have one of each. I prefer that he reads at his level but I do agree with my son that he should have fun reading as well.

Lexile System

Peace!

     People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.  Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.  ~H. Jackson Browne

Zen is a good place to be. It's that peaceful place between happiness and calm. I currently reside there. All of the daily stresses seemed to have melted away. The family is healthy and happy. Despite outside forces, bad economy, sick or distressed extended family members, and problems at the school level; I still feel at peace.

 To be able to sort through what's important and what's not is a huge factor in this. What doesn't matter, just doesn't matter. Priorities are lined up and evaluated. Does this make me happy? Do I need to do this? What is the worst that could happen? Is it good for the family? Is it good for our health? How will it better us financially, physically, or emotionally? Will I learn something new?

I love not being stressed out. I love watching the kids play and joining them knowing I have no worries. I love being able to spend time with my hubby and just relax.

Join me!

   

Cardboard City

    A fun craft project my kids have been working on is building a cardboard city. I have collected toilet paper tubes, empty food boxes, pizza boxes, cardboard circles from under pizzas, etc. I added to this construction paper, glue, stickers, and crayons. They added the imagination. This has turned into a great recycling project. Would be a great craft to work on over winter break as well. Check out the below photos.

                                       Cardboard People made from TP tubes.

                                                             Cardboard Tank

                                                     Mansion made from pizza box

Upstairs bedroom made from construction paper.

Why I Find Bullies Entertaining

    I am an oldest child of 6 and a mother of 3 and as such am able to read people well and can see through to the crap. I work very hard to raise my children and support my husband regardless of whether they deserve it or not. I have never gave up on them, walked out on them, or fed them to the wolves. They will grow up knowing that I loved them enough to fight all their battles as needed, kissed all their boo boos, and supported them in all their endeavors, even those that I knew were destined to fail.

    As a member of the community, I volunteer my time and resources to help those who need a helping hand. I never turn down a request for help regardless of how tired I may be. I have brought my children along to help so they too can learn the value of helping others and loving strangers. In just the last calendar year, my kids have helped me teach a summer camp for homeless kids, helped unload 300 backpacks for kids, helped new kids assimilate to the schools, helped clean out and rearrange classrooms in the church, etc.

    Does this make me a saint? No. But here is where the bullying comes in. As stated in my previous blog, the kids and I chose to stay home for Christmas Day and visit family on other days. We have never spent Christmas at home and this year I believe it is our turn to relax and enjoy our Christmas. The kids are out of school for 2 weeks and I have never seen it etched in stone you have to visit on Christmas. I think this is why we have a song called The 12 days of Christmas.

    So my Mother-in-Law makes the comment that I am selfish for not coming out on Christmas Day and in her eyes will always be selfish. I tolerate a lot of random crap from her but being called selfish is not one of them. I am far from selfish. She tries to post that on this public blog but as moderator, it of course was never posted. So in the spirit of keeping things public as this bully prefers, I share this story.

    So why is this bully so very entertaining? First of all, she is supposed to be family. Who would try to trash their own family online? Secondly, she is the walking definition of selfish. Her whole life story is a testament to it. And Lastly, What's the purpose? You think because you bad mouth me I'm going to change my mind and bend to your every whim? I don't think so. But it says so much about your character and I don't need that kind of a person around me or my family. I have in the past cut out members of the family for their behavior and I'm not above doing it again.

    Never be bullied into silence.  Never allow yourself to be made a victim.  Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.  ~Harvey Fierstein

If you are suffering from a bully in your family, here is a helpful site.  http://www.positive-personal-growth.com/family-bullies.html

Child's Version of Christmas

     Even as an adult I find it difficult to sleep on Christmas Eve.  Yuletide excitement is a potent caffeine, no matter your age.  ~Carrie Latet

    Every year for Christmas the kids open Santa gifts and then are rushed to see family and never really get to enjoy the holiday. This year I sat with them and we made our own plan for what we would like our Christmas to be like.

    First, we agreed no more travelling Christmas Day. It's too much stress and not fun at all. We will stay home and if others wish to stop by then we are OK with that. Secondly, the kids have every intention of staying in their PJs all day long. Why change if you're just playing anyway? They want to watch lots of Christmas classics and new faves. We are also planning on baking a ton of cookies and fudge. Yummy!

     Most importantly, my little ones understand the true meaning of Christmas. They want to give love and receive love not chase down presents. I couldn't ask for a better bunch of kids.


                                                   Our Movie List


National Lampoon Christmas Vacation
Christmas Story
Elf
Shrek the Halls
Prep and Landing
Rudolf
Frosty
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Dennis the Menace Christmas
Merry Madagascar
The Grinch who Stole Christmas

Heavenly Recall

     Recalls are now considered fairly routine. They have become common and almost expected. What about heavenly recalls? We were all created by a higher power and will one day be recalled by our maker. When that day comes will people be glad to see us go because we have been defective for some time? Will they be saddened but understand that we were worn out from so many years of wear and tear helping those around us?

    This Christmas season remember to use yourself doing good deeds as you were manufactured to do. The factory that you came from doesn't produce junk. Remember to replace your batteries often. No one wants a tired, broken toy. Keep yourself bright, shiny, and happy. The better you care for yourself the longer you will last. Don't be selfish. Share yourself with those around you.


     Remember to live a good life. We are all products of God and will one day be recalled. Make sure you are recalled because you are worn out not because you are defective.

Did you know?

    Did you know that if you shock a cancer patient's heart that it will trigger their cancer and cause it to spread? Did you know if you get lapband surgery you can never drink soda again because the gas bubbles will cause the bands to expand and break? Did you know if you don't vacuum your floors social services will come in and take you away?

    These are crazy things my mother has told me this week. I find it harder and harder to kindly listen to such crazy things and these are just a few of the wonderful gems I have heard this week alone. I want to break these down to truly highlight the absurdity.

    1) She believes that if your heart goes into shock and EMS has to "shock" you that the jolt will trigger your cancer to spread. Of course this isn't true but what if it was? I think I would still want to be shocked because if I'm not then I'm dead anyway. It makes no sense to worry about a life saving procedure possibly causing you problems later. If you forgo it, you're dead.

    2) If you get lapband surgery, you can't have soda anymore because the gases will cause the bands to burst. I looked it up. Carbonated beverages can cause the pouch to distend and cause discomfort, period. No explosions. However, I find the better question to be, Why get lapband surgery if you plan to continue drinking soda? The whole point of the surgery is to lose weight. If you are opposed to the surgery because you can't give up soda and don't want your stomach to explode, why go thru with it in the first place?

    3) If you don't vacuum your floors, social services will come in and take you away. Really? I think they are more worried about filth and hoards of stuff. If you cant see your floor to vacuum it, then maybe you have a problem. I think cat hair on a carpet is the least of social services worries.

    Anyway I hope you got a giggle reading this because it was really hard to bite my tongue and listen to it the first time. Luckily for me, I am not a cancer patient, do not need lapband surgery, and do not have carpeted floors.

Our Charlie Brown Christmas

    We had an unusually warm day yesterday so I decided to clean up the yard and sweep the porch. The kids and I transplanted mint into planters to bring in for the winter as houseplants. Then we got the Christmas bug.

    We decided to cut a branch from an overgrown pine in the backyard and make a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. We brought it in and put in a tree stand. the kids found a blue towel to wrap around base to symbolize Linus' blanket and one solitary red ornament. It was fun to recreate and now sits in our dining room as a fun decoration.

Looking for the Silver Lining



    They say every cloud has a silver lining. As I grow older and life happens, I find it harder and harder to find that elusive silver lining. I'm not saying my life is overly hard or trying, but I do find myself at times to be less than lucky.

    Today was a very productive day. My husband and I were able to take down some unwanted cabinets and remove the doors of the remainders to ready them for painting. Not a small task. We felt great that we were able to accomplish it.

    Having finished, my husband went to take a shower. Moments later he calls to me and says the water isn't heating up. The heater is working so maybe the pilot light went out on the water heater. We venture downstairs. The pilot light is out. It is out because there is about 8 inches of standing water in our basement. Apparently the sump pump hung up and the water from outside seeped in. The smell is awful and the mess is disheartening. He wades over to fix the pump and we head upstairs to wait for it to drain. He takes a cold shower.

    We now need to paint cabinets and clean the mess from our small flood. So what could possibly be the silver lining in all this? We were battling fleas in our basement. The water took care of the pest problem. Now to battle any upcoming mold.

   

Adultery: As Defined by a Child

    The seventh commandment says "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Most of us understand what that means. Plain and simple, unless you're married to or dating a person stay away from them romantically. It's not rocket science and pretty clear cut.

    My children are learning about the 10 Commandments in Sunday school. They were taught that adultery is when you are not loyal. No explanation. Just a quick cliff note as they are so young. It seemed sufficient.

    So Sunday night we attended a youth group meeting. We were told to break into small groups. Another father was in my group. My 10 year old daughter came up to me, pointed her finger in my face, and yelled "that's adultery!"

    So many things go through your mind when you are publicly called an adulterer. First, you want to kill your child. Their is some degree of embarrassment for both yourself and the other party. Finally, you have a moment of incredulity. Why does my child think this?

    I pulled her aside and asked her who, what, where, why. I discovered the preacher's wife had taught that if you were with someone else you weren't loyal. She thought just because I was near someone else that counted. I explained it to her better and found the pastor and let him know his wife may need to retouch the subject or teach it differently in the future. The group got a good laugh and I now have a new title to add to my resume.

My Accuser

Homemade Christmas

     This year money is tight. Rather than whine about the state of my financial situation I decided to celebrate a homemade Christmas this year. I have enough excess around the house and lots of creativity. So why not?

    I started with my dining room. It used to be used as a daycare room but was recently converted into a formal dining room. This room needs work as this is where Thanksgiving and Christmas meals will be eaten. I found some robin eggs blue paint and lightened up the dark navy blue walls. I had white curtains and cloth shower curtains that I repurposed by adding a band of yellow fabric to the bottoms. I had some old, icky frames that I gave new life by painting the colors of the walls and adding extra yellow fabric as the matting. These hang on a white wall on my stairwell. I also painted three old terra cotta pots the wall color to hold silverware. The room looks light and fresh.

    The kids will be painting toilet paper tubes white with red stripes to be used as napkin holders and a fun way to deliver Christmas letters and drawings. They also collected pine cones from a nearby park for other holiday crafts. I have been using my TV time productively by crocheting scarves for Christmas Presents.

    It has been nice recycling old things into new and teaching the kids new tricks along the way. The money saved is also invaluable.

    "Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... (he thought)...means a little bit more." The Grinch  

 

New Age Farming

    It used to be that farmers were up from sunrise to sunset, taking care of their farms. Much time and energy was put forth to plow fields and care for livestock. But much has changed since then. We now have technology and with that farming has changed drastically.

    Behold, the new face of farming.

    Now everyone is a farmer. They waste away hours of their days on computers and smart phones plowing away at fake fields and feeding digital animals. Their is no reward of a crop or of pay. Idle time is a huge luxury that farmers of yore didn't have. We have more free time in our days and our lifespan is longer. Our work ethic has become lazy and we take much for granted.

    Sims games are the rage but all we are doing is hiding from our real lives. We have the ability to be our own characters and build our own games to our liking.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose.  ~Robert Byrne

Calamity to Calm

    It seems that everyone is looking for their rhythm. Something that makes them happy and feel fulfilled. Those who work wish to be home and those that are at home wish to be at work. The cycle seems to be unending. I have been one of those people who never seemed to find my niche. I was always looking for something else.

    I recently became a stay at home mom. I welcomed the break and really enjoyed resting up the first month the kids went back to school. I started working on some projects around the house and then it bit me. The bug that makes you want more, makes you second guess your purpose, undermines your efforts. I began to think maybe I was a bum for not bringing in an income. I felt the pressure to do more.

    Then out of the inner chaos, I realized I was being productive and industrious. I've been caring for my family and home, helping extended family members with their many needs, and volunteering my time with both the schools and a local non-profit. Sure there isn't any money involved but I am making a difference for the many that need me. I found my inner calm. It's a breath of fresh air. I have found contentment and hope that it stays.