Miss America Party

    My birthday happened to fall on the same day as the Miss America pageant. So my daughter and I planned a Miss USA party. She made me this lovely center piece as pictured above with her dolls wearing sashes. Mario Lopez as host of course. She also set up a nice manicure tray for everyone to do their nails.

    My friends and their daughters showed up along with one of her friends and we had a great time. Watching Miss Arkansas and her crazy yodeling ventriloquist act was my favorite highlight of the evening. It was the stupidest talent I had ever seen and she wins second place. Of course the winner was a bald Miss Nebraska. The girl wears a wig and still wins as beauty queen? I find that odd.

Jennifer and I

Chloe and Justine

Chloe and Justine

Brian and Brad, Johnny in the back

Justine and Kyleigh

Lesa and the girls

Yodeling Ventriloquist Miss Arkansas

A House with "Character"

    We bought an old house, about 100 years old. It has "character". The outside looks great. The inside is livable but needs upgrading. It has the usual character you hear about from home shows, original wood floors and woodwork, large windows, wooden porch, and huge yard.

    Our home has original wood floors, but they need sanded and refinished. Some boards are bowed from the house shifting and require lots of love and money...future project. The home has 24 large windows. Yes they are beautiful but not energy efficient. They all need replaced. To get decent windows at $300 each...$7200 grand total...future project. The wooden porch is getting older and will need rebuilt in a few years. We would like to turn it into a wrap around to connect front porch with side porch. Both porches have roof overhangs and the rebuild will be costly...future project. Currently all the walls are plaster. I would like to eventually switch to drywall...future project. In the meantime, the walls are all painted cheery colors, paint is a cheap alternative. The kitchen needs new counter tops and refinishing. The cheap alternative is counter top paint and painting cabinets. The existing cabinets are strong and are staying. Recently our basement flooded from back up in mainline, so did neighbors, so dealing with clearing out pipes and dealing with mess. The list could go on.

    The real "character" comes from the inside. Not the inside of the home, but the person working on the home. If you can continually work on an old home, with limited funds and lots of creativity, and come out sane, then it speaks volumes about your "character". To see the hidden beauty and charm and be able to bring it out, to be patient and continue on, and to stay calm in the chaos are character traits of a true remodeler.

    These same traits serve well in all aspects of life. Mothers, spouses, friends, etc, need these traits to work well and accomplish greatness. Sometimes you wake up to a flooded basement, a sick child, or a family tragedy. Can you make it to the other side intact? Perhaps your child broke a dish while making you breakfast. Can you see the beauty in the thought behind the task or just see the brokenness? Do you have the time and strength to stick to the big things? Sometimes things in your home or life are broken beyond repair and need to be replaced. The work will be hard but if you stick through the hard parts you will have something new and beautiful and a fresh start.

Working Towards Financial Peace

This upcoming year, my husband and I have decided to get down and dirty and work on knocking out our debt to become debt free. We have worked out a plan and if we have no major speed bumps, fingers crossed, we will be nearly debt free at the end of 2011. Our small debts and van payments will be finished in June and the car will be done in December of this year. Then we can start 2012 finishing off our 2 small school loans. Then we are going to kill the mortgage. The goal is to be completely debt free in about 7 years. It will be hard but well worth it. The vehicles are new enough that they will only need repaired from time to time. The hope is to build up a savings account so that in the far future we can buy cars with cash. Then when we get paid we will only need to pay for utilities.

The peace of mind that should follow will be well worth any sacrifice now. I'm tired of worrying about grocery money, gas money, paying bills on time, etc. This year almost all Christmas gifts given to friends and family were homemade and received great reviews. That saved us from going under farther. I only purchased things for my kids for Santa to give. The result was a very relaxed holiday. I highly recommend it.

I am a huge fan of freecycle. It's a great way to give your unwanted things to those who may need them in the community, and also receive items you, yourself might need. This is all done online and is completely free. No money changes hands. Goodwill is a great place for discounted things you may need, but not necessarily new. I like to buy plastic baby toys at 25 cents each and let my dogs have as chew toys. This is a great deal when you consider the price at a pet store is $5 - $10 per toy. The dog will destroy it either way.

The kids are 8, 10, and 12 and have found making recycled crafts to be great fun. They loved making a cardboard city, see previous blog for more info and pics on that. They like to take old hats and clothes that are stained or torn and redecorate them and turn into fun dress up clothes.

So the overall goal is to be creative, put extra towards the bills, and look to the future!

freecycle website

Cardboard city

Stuff to put stuff in

    Family:  A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.  ~Evan Esar

    How much stuff is enough stuff? How many dishes are normal? How much clothes do we need? When does a lot become a hoard? Is it possible to have too little?

    My grandmother is a hoarder and so is my mother. I grew up in a house that I slowly watched get more and more filled with stuff. As another child would move out with their belongings, their now vacant room would refill just as quickly with miscellaneous junk. I find that I too have the tendency to want to hoard but being aware of it has made all the difference. I recently closed down my family daycare business of 10 years. There was a lot of toys and furniture involved. I went through and sold or donated most of it and only kept what my own children play with.
   
    My house became a lot emptier, it was nice.  I fell in love with the empty spaces. I had never seen empty spaces before. We didn't have them growing up. As far as toys go, I do believe in a good, healthy amount being available for kids to play with. I would rather trip over the toys they are playing with than have kids glued to monitors all day. Clothes have always been simple for me. I only keep what fits and what I wear. My oldest sons clothes are put in space bags and kept for my youngest. Once my youngest son and daughter grow out of their clothes they are donated.

    I only keep what I can realistically use. Is my house empty? Not even close but it isn't jam packed either. We have bonus rooms that we use for extras. The kids have a music room for their drum set, keyboard, and guitar. We have a very large dining room that doubles as a space for video games. I can see my floor and I can see my walls so I think I'm doing OK.

   The compulsion to try and find a reason to keep things is no longer something I struggle with. It was a burden and kept me from doing the things I wanted to do. It is freeing to throw things out. Do you need to go shopping for stuff to stuff your stuff in?

Peace!

     People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.  Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.  ~H. Jackson Browne

Zen is a good place to be. It's that peaceful place between happiness and calm. I currently reside there. All of the daily stresses seemed to have melted away. The family is healthy and happy. Despite outside forces, bad economy, sick or distressed extended family members, and problems at the school level; I still feel at peace.

 To be able to sort through what's important and what's not is a huge factor in this. What doesn't matter, just doesn't matter. Priorities are lined up and evaluated. Does this make me happy? Do I need to do this? What is the worst that could happen? Is it good for the family? Is it good for our health? How will it better us financially, physically, or emotionally? Will I learn something new?

I love not being stressed out. I love watching the kids play and joining them knowing I have no worries. I love being able to spend time with my hubby and just relax.

Join me!

   

Calamity to Calm

    It seems that everyone is looking for their rhythm. Something that makes them happy and feel fulfilled. Those who work wish to be home and those that are at home wish to be at work. The cycle seems to be unending. I have been one of those people who never seemed to find my niche. I was always looking for something else.

    I recently became a stay at home mom. I welcomed the break and really enjoyed resting up the first month the kids went back to school. I started working on some projects around the house and then it bit me. The bug that makes you want more, makes you second guess your purpose, undermines your efforts. I began to think maybe I was a bum for not bringing in an income. I felt the pressure to do more.

    Then out of the inner chaos, I realized I was being productive and industrious. I've been caring for my family and home, helping extended family members with their many needs, and volunteering my time with both the schools and a local non-profit. Sure there isn't any money involved but I am making a difference for the many that need me. I found my inner calm. It's a breath of fresh air. I have found contentment and hope that it stays.

Pied Piper

    I am the pied piper. I do not play a flute to attract mice, but I do have a tendency to attract children of all ages without trying. Many times when I go out I will notice a 4th child in my brood. Following me in the store, asking me questions in the park, or walking in a parking lot; these kids zero in on me as if by a magnetic force. I feel like the neighborhood mother.

    While kids are my business and gift in life, I have always wondered how babies and children learn to sense the good and evil in people. They almost always are drawn to the right type of  people, knowing who is safe and who is not. Even when I have no kids with me, I still get the feeling I'm being followed and am in fact.

    My granny has Snow White Syndrome. She attracts all the animals of the city. Stray cats, opossums, birds; they all love and trust her. They sense something in her person that they know will protect them. I again wonder how this works.

Scarlett O'Hara Disorder

    Scarlett O'Hara is known for saying; "I can't think about this now, I will think about it later". I, too, tend to procrastinate. I have so many things that need done on a day to day basis and other big projects that need worked on. I am unable to do both so something is always being put off. Progress is made, but other things get piled up.

    I feel like taking care of a house with kids in it is like sweeping. Sweeping is inherantly easy work. You sweep the dust in a pile and dispose of it. The kind of sweeping I am talking about is much more difficult. Cleaning a house with kids in it, is like sweeping the shore line. You will remove the sand from a small area only to turn around and see that the tide has brought it back in. Thus a mother's work is never done.

    Occasionally, I will get a few days to myself with no kids around. The mature mom in me says, "you should use this time to get ahead on things". But the tired me just wants to relax and enjoy the quiet.

Welcome! Doormat Syndrome

   

     I have a good, bad habit of helping people. If you ask me for help, then 9 times out of 10 I'm gonna be there for you. I like being able to help others and feel it is the right thing to do. Sadly, I have noticed a scary trend. The same people who consistently need help and support, whether monetary, mental, physical, or otherwise, never seem to be able to reciprocate when you are in need. I have a huge handful of friends and family that I only hear from when they need something. It's always a "life or death" problem to them and they can't seem to see past their own needs. If I call on these same people for help of any kind or even something as benign as setting up a time to relax and hangout, they are way too busy and come up with a myriad of excuses as to why they get to be selfish.


    I now feel like I need to be selfish and tell these same people "no". Of course I will be labeled as mean and uncaring, that is the nature of this beast. Why does this trend of using others and abusing their kindness now exist? Are we all destined to become heartless?